The day I found motivation


You see almost a year ago now I made the decision to train for a half marathon. It was brutal and ugly but it happened. And if I can be honest, it was all about me. It was all about proving to myself that is often ridden with self-doubt and to everyone who thought I was nuts I could do it. Me. Me. Me. Watch me. In your face, kinda of attitude. Sometimes we need to prove to ourself we can do hard things but I took it beyond that cause I was mad. I’ve lived my whole life under the mentality that if you made a 99, where is the extra point. Life wasn’t about excellence. It was about perfection. They are not synonyms. And I’ve lived my whole life looking at my own life and others even with that same critical spirit. It’s suffocating. In some ways it’s created success in my life but at what cost? It’s also put me on an emotional roller coaster ride that is pretty ugly. Unachievable standards are like that. But that half marathon earlier this year taught me a lot. Progress over perfection. Not to quit (those that seek perfection often quit if they aren’t #1). It’s ok to pace yourself. Mental toughness. The list goes on and on… After it was over, I hung up my running shoes for awhile. I needed a break. But, I’m wired that I have to have a goals lest I sink back into a life of lack of discipline pretty quickly. And I’m also a person who finally realizes a good sweat helps me get off the roller coaster ride. It’s hard. I honestly don’t like exercise but I see how much it helps me and clears my head, builds confidence, and keeps me more sane. So I do it. After a hiatus, and a realization that I needed more accountability, and push I reached out to the girl who had my back last year and literally ran without earbuds for an entire 13.1 miles with me in the rain and cold telling me to not quit. And here I am… nothing but love for you Kim! I’m back. But this time, it’s not about proving anything. This time it’s about worship and gratitude. This time it’s not about me. A lot has shifted in my life this year.


Running is a privilege. I have dozens of friends and family right now that would kill to be able to run. They are struggling in their health – some emotionally, some physically, some both. One of my best friends who died of metastasized breast cancer to the lungs at age 37, leaving 3 young children behind, once told me she went to the gym after one of her diagnosis of remission and stayed all day. All day. I laughed and told her you are crazy. She stopped very quickly and said, it was like a gift Heather. It was a gift. I could walk, lift weights, sweat. I felt alive. And she’s right. It is. This morning was for all of you, Laura. It was also for all all you out there that wish and are still hoping for a day to run again, maybe even walk. This new endeavor of training will NOT be about me. It will be about being grateful for the opportunity. I am healthy. It’s a blessing. It will be also be about prayer and hope for those who are in the trenches, just trying to make life happen today. You aren’t hoping for your BEST life. You are are hoping that today is just BETTER than yesterday. Please press on.


It changes everything. And, it most definitely changes our minds, where the battle begins and ends. It will motivate you.


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